B27) Adversity

Adversity is one of our greatest gifts. Each of us presented with an endless series of opportunities in which to manage adversity. It’s been my experience most people don’t manage adversity well. It becomes an anchor to most people. An anchor that weighs them down and prevents them from moving forward.

It's the adversity in my life that made me able to get a Master's degree and become an Adjunct faculty member at a couple different colleges. Adversity allowed me to do IT Consulting. Adversity made it possible for me to do volunteer teaching to prison inmates. Had it not been for prison I would not have done these things.

I am so thankful for having gone to prison. I’m not the least bit thankful about leaving my daughter for six years. I have not reconciled this part of my life yet.

From where I am sitting, the only victim in the crime I committed was a three year old little girl. My daughter. The state was not able to produce any "victim" to testify against me at my trial. The state did produce a detective that perjured himself in order to secure my conviction.

The adversity experienced by other I've seen has a profoundly negative effect on them. Especially those in prison. The adversity experienced by others I've seen serves only serves to piss them off. It makes them angry. Resentful. They end up spreading their anger, sharing it with others whether they want that shared or not. It's not a path to Acceptance, Forgiveness and Unconditional Love.

 

B26) Suffering

There’s a spiritual component to suffering. It takes some effort to make the connection between suffering and spirituality. Most people don’t. Most people let the suffering turn them into angry violent vengeful people. It’s sad because it’s a lost opportunity.

B25) Prison guards

Today prison guards are referred to as “correctional officers”. This is a euphemism that unnecessarily flatters these people.

There were some decent guards at the prisons I spent time at. Because I was at North Unit for 3.5 yrs I got to know the guards fairly well. After 3.5 years they, in turn got to know me. One of the lady guards called me in her office one morning. She took my hands and began rubbing excess hand lotion on my hands.

What?

Ya, she began jerking off my fingers. I'm not kidding.

Apparently I was not so horny that I'd have sex with a lady prison guard in prison. I could not even bring myself to look her in the eye. I kept looking down and shook my head indicating No.

If she had been better looking and twenty years younger it would have been a whole different scene.

When I was at cook unit a lady guard and inmate were caught embrassing in the kitchens walk in referigated cooler. The inmate went to the hole and the lady guard was transfered. The inmate ended up being sent to cimmeron  i.e. gladiator school for his punishmet.

Some of the guards were truely horrible people and that's why they took the job. They wanted a job where they could inflict punishment and torment on people (inmates). These guards are easy to spot.

Some of the guards were decent people. They were there for a steady paycheck and health benifits. They had  no evil to inflict on others. For most guards I'd say 90% of them could not find a better job than prison guard.

I think it was Mark Twain that said:

"If you want to see the true dreggs of society go to any prison at shift change"

The guards. He was referring to prison guards.

The day before I left prison I did my typical one hour run along the inside of the prison fence. After my run I had to report to the yard office for the 6:00pm count. I think I was the last one counted that day as there were no other inmates in line for count.
The guard taking count asked me (coincidentally)

"Knight, when are you going home? You've been here a long time"

I was happy to reply:

"Tomorrow. I'm going home tomorrow"

The guard jumped to attention as if I was his commanding officer. Then he extended his hand to shake hands and smiled while saying: 

"Congratulation"

I was stunned beyond belief. A guard wanting to shake my hand? This had to a first. He was one of the good guards.

This was the  same guard that told me one day, one very hot day (110 degrees) and I was getting my daily run in. I pass the guard walking the fence and told him

"I don't think I can finish my  run in this heat"

He declared immediately with a grin:

"If you fall out of that run I'm taking you to the hole"

Of course he was kidding but that burst of humor from a guard gave me the energy to finish the run.

I read something about prison guards while in prison, I think it was referrenced from the old testament but I'm not positive. The gist of what I read:

"Any man that would walk the walls would surely eat another man's dung"

Walking the walls was a prison guard reference. Walking the walls of the prison to guard against any escape.

B24) The Health Club

B23) Chinese philosopher Mencius Quote

"Heaven, when it is about to place a great responsibility on a man, always first tests his resolution, wears out his sinews and bones with toil, exposes his body to starvation, subjects him to extreme poverty, frustrates his efforts so as to stimulate his mind, toughens his nature and makes good his deficiencies. Men for the most part can mend their ways only after they make mistakes. Only when they are frustrated in mind and in their deliberations can they stand up anew. Only when their intentions become visible on their countenances and audible in their voices can they be understood by others. As a rule, a state without law–abiding families and trustworthy Gentlemen on the one hand, and, on the other, without the threat of external aggression, will perish. Only then do we realize that anxiety and distress lead to life and that ease and comfort end in death."

Chinese philosopher Mencius, Book VI Kao Tzu, Part II, 15

B22) Texas holdem

It was 2005 when I was invited to my first Texas holdem tournament. I was in grad school at the time and working two jobs, teaching and consulting. I was an adjunct at a local college and working as an IT Consultant to a local county agency.

In years past I'd gone to my share of poker games but never played the game Texas Holdem.  As it turns out Texas Holdem is the Cadillac of poker games. I took to the game like a fish does to swimming. It did not take long before I was a dominant force at every tournament I entered and every table I sat down at. I paid my rent for the better part of a year with my poker winnings. The game was positively addictive.

Because of the success I realized at the poker table I began to alter my plans for the future. Poker, I’d decided was going to be my future. I would move to Las Vegas after grad school and become a professional poker player. My confidence had grown to the point I felt the need to test my skills against the very best and las Vegas provided an excellent venue for my new need.

I have a true gift for reading people. This gift served me well in life. I think I can qualify that statement because I not only succeeded, I thrived as a trafficker. I was a closer. A go to guy. I was the answer to whatever your weed related issue was. I filled this role for eight years. right up to the point I got busted.

My ability to read people and read situations served me well in prison.

My post prison resume speaks for itself:

• Master’s Degree
• Adjuct faculty
• IT consultant to the Federal government.
• Granted a security clearance

Enough said.

Reading people, managing people and managing situations are things I do well.

I think Shakespeare was right,

"All the world is a stage"

I feel like a puppet master and the great director for the play of my life.

B21) This is still America and the Land of Opportunity

America is still the land of opportunity. For those willing to work hard it is possible to create a meaningful life -----------even after released from prison.

The equation for success in life is the same for everyone, ex-cons included. The equation begins with obtaining marketable job skills. There are a number of ways to obtain marketable job skills.
; College, Trade school, the military, work place apprenticeship or taking a job as a laborer in order to put yourself through employment aimed education/training.

Last week on the national news there was a story about a Columbia University janitor that graduated with honors. The man’s name was Gac Filipaj. According t the story Mr. Filipaj fled war-torn Yugoslavia in 1992, he became a refugee in New York and did not know who to speak english. He took a janitor's job at Columbia University because it included free tuition. But he first had to learn English. After a dozen years, he received a bachelor's degree.

Sweeping and mopping floors becomes more meaningful work when it helps lead to a better life.

Here are some statistics:

Median personal income by educational attainment[9]
Measure	Some High School	High school graduate	Some college	Associate's degree	Bachelor's degree or higher	Bachelor's degree	Master's degree	Professional degree	Doctorate degree
Persons, age 25+, employed full-time	$25,039	$31,539	$37,135	$40,588	$56,078	$50,944	$61,273	$100,000	$79,401

It may be true that convicted felons are barred from some jobs. As ex-cons we cannot become Governor or Mayor or President. So what. The list of jobs that are available to us far outweigh the jobs we cannot have.

1.       Plumber

2.       Electrician

3.       Carpenter

4.       Mechanic

5.       Engineer

      6.       Butcher

7.       Baker

8.       Candlestick maker…..

The list goes on and on and on…

Focusing on what is NOT possible is part of the problem


Focusing on what is possible is part of the solution