B12) Prophecy

Cimmaron prison, 1994. Going back to court, Pima County for my appeal.

The guards told me to wait in the medical building (out of the rain) for transport to Pima County jail.

I walked into the building alone. There was absolutely no activity going on in this hallway or in the building. It was peaceful. Peace and quiet. Solitude is a rare occurrence in this place. It was nice being alone. I stood there looking out a window watching the rain. It was a cold and dreary. At this point in the appeal process I was hopeful.

I decide to get comfortable and have a seat. I turned around and someone was there. Appearing as if out of thin air. He was a kid, early twenties. Sitting, leaning against the wall opposite to me.

“Where did you come from”? I asked.

“I’ve been sitting here for an about thirty minutes” he said.

Bullshit. That’s bullshit. When I entered the building no one was there. Where did he come from?

“Whatever”.

I sat down feeling very uneasy about this person. We began a conversation. He was in prison on a drug conviction just like me. He said things that made me think he knew me. Important  things. Then he would say something indicating he knew nothing. It was an odd conversation.

We spoke about our lives outside this place. We talked about our families and about what a fucking nightmare this place was. I talked about my appeals

“If I do win, I will leave this place and never look back”

I remember having that thought, speaking those words and meaning all of it.

His response:

“You do not get to turn your back on this place after you leave”

He said this calmly and clearly. He was emphatic. He said this as if it was a done deal. My future already carved in stone. Non negotiable. He did not explain why he made such a statement. He just floated it out there.

I was dumbfounded. I did not know how to respond. Before I could formulate a response a guard walked in and barked out my name. It was time to go. My chariot awaits.

Off I went to the Pima County jail. I could not get those words out of my head.

“You do not get to turn your back on this place after you leave”

I finally formulated a response, rage. I felt this rage welling up inside me. I became angry. Who the fuck does that guy think he is?  If he thinks I’m coming back to help after being released from this insane asylum he is crazy. He knows not what he says. I will put this place in my rear view mirror and never look back and never give it a second thought.

The end!