Perryville
prison located in the Phoenix area. Perryville is a low medium security prison.
May of 1993 or maybe it was June.
The yard locks down at
9pm. After 9pm it was just me and my celly (cell mate). I can’t recall his
name, maybe it was Frank? Frank was old, sixty five or so. Five foot nothing. A
hundred thirty five pounds of shaking bones and sinew wrapped in wrinkly bag of
cigarette smoke infused smelling skin. He smelled like an ash tray. It kind of reminded
me of my dad. Frank demonstrated on the outside how I was feeling on the
inside. Visibly uncertain about the quality of his future.
Frank was easy to read
and this was not something weighing in his favor. Prison is a place you need to
keep your feeling close to the vest. Especially insecure feelings. No one
should know what you are thinking. They should know only what you want them to think
and know. Strength. you project strength.
Soon after we get locked
down for the evening the guard comes by for count. Our ID’s visible to the
prison guards. Ten minutes hadn’t passed when it started. A fight in a cell
very close to my cell. The sound came in via the duct work. It had to be a cell
close to my cell because of the clarity of the sound. It was a brutal sounding
battle. it seemed to go on forever. I sat there in my bunk listening.
After the fight was over
came something much worse. After the fight came the rape. Oh my god. I was
hearing it. I was hearing something I could not have imagined possible minutes
ago. Minutes ago I lived in a different world, in a different reality. I
remember thinking, this was like the movies. Un-fucking-believable.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh
my god. How is this possible. The sounds I heard that evening made me want to
vomit and wretch. They made me want to run.
This is not how human
beings act. I’m not certain of much any more but I am certain of this. Human
being do not act in this manner. This is man’s
inhumanity to man. This should be the title of this blog.
Trying to rationalize the
situation I started writing down on a piece of paper crimes I think might warrant
that type of experience. I didn’t get too far with a list before I realize
there was no crime justifying what I was listening to, at least not in an
enlightened society. I’m forced to remember, I am forced to accept I do not
live in an enlighten society.
Eventually it ended.
My cellmate and I never
spoke about what we heard. We remained silent during the whole disgusting
event. We sat there in the most uncomfortable silence I’d ever been part of.
If this was day one, what
could I expect from day two?
The guards walk every two
hours for count. After the 11pm count it all started up again.
I remember thinking,
again, no. no. no. no. this cannot be happening again. THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE!
But it was possible. I
was hearing it.
Another battle. This
battle did not last as long. It was followed by another rape. More begging.
More pleading. more inconceivable horror.
This is Hell on Earth.
My thoughts turned to his
crimes (the man being beaten and raped). I wonder what he did to end up in
prison. Was he a guilty of GTA (grand theft auto), maybe burglary, or armed
robbery. Maybe he was a drug dealer? It didn’t matter. There is no possible
justification for such behavior.
In the morning when they
let us out of our cages we were made to stand at attention just outside our
cell doors for the count. It took all my will not lean forward, look both ways
and try and figure out who the combatants were. I wanted to say something.
Something like
“what the fuck was that
last night? Who was that? I demand to know”
Prudence dictating I keep
my mouth shut and remain silence on the issue. For now and ever more.
We went to chow and then
on to the indoc (indoctrination) process.
I was positive beyond any
doubt this evening would be a great deal quieter. I could not have been more wrong.
Night two was a repeat performance of night one. I can’t figure this out. Who
would get back in a cell after that type of experience? It’s madness and this
place is like a medieval insane asylum.
Correction, It’s not like
a medieval insane asylum, it is a medieval insane asylum. This is the criminal
justice system in action.
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