Saturday, July 14, 2012

B52) I'm never going to run again...


It's been three years and three months since the accident
"I'm never going to run again."
It took me two years before I could say it out loud.
"I'm never going to run again."
I said it in therapy for the first time. My admission was followed by so much emotion I was unable to speak for several minutes.
"I'm never going to run again."
Even to this day when I think about my time in the sun as a runner having ended, I tear up.
Like every distance runner I was faster in my twenties than I was in my thirties and forties. Father Time takes from us. Such is the nature of time. In my twenties running was about speed. I needed to be faster in every race. In my thirties running was mainly cathartic. I was running to purge and cleanse. In my forties running was about thanks. At the end of each and every run I gave thanks to the Universe. I would look up to the heavens and say a prayer of thanks for good health and the honor and privilege of being able to run, especially in the forest preserve, most notably, Herrick Lake.
I honestly believe no one gave more thanks for running than I during that last decade of running. I loved running. I spent many a mile feeling genuine gratitude during my runs, especially those runs through the forest preserve. The forest preserve was like my cathedral. The deer, the birds, the squirrels, the turtles and I were all part of the congregation. I always felt as if I was in good company at the forest preserve.
"I'm never going to run again"

Who am I now?

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