B9) I don’t want to forget

My forth year after prison the memories began to fade. I began to forget. This realization hit me like a freight train. I was spending so much time working on the future the past began to fade.

The only trouble with this, I don’t want forget. Prison was the most powerful experience of my life. Yes, it was horrible and it was a nightmare but there was a spiritual component to the experience that changed me---------------------------- for the better.

I don’t want to forget.

I wanted to get in my truck and drive to Arizona. I felt this need. I needed a fix. I needed those intense memories back in my head real strong. I need.... I wanted those memories washing over me over me like a warm bath.  I want and need those memories intoxicating me with wave after wave of memory induced horror.

I wanted to drive by every prison I'd been to, stand outside the fence and remember.

Who am I now?